In November I received the news that shook me to my core. An amazing friend from work shared these words “my cancer can`t be cured. At most I have 18 to 24 months left to live.” Less than 1% of Canadians will ever run a full marathon, in 2023 only 0.02% will. I decided to run a full marathon and dedicate the training and completion to my friend Jason Bowser. For those who have run a Marathon they know they are anything but glamorous, the training for the race and the race itself seem to bring out the worst in ones' body. I picked Georgina Spring Fling. Today`s run had the wheels basically fall off, and it seemed more challenging than normal. I seemed to have caught a cold, both legs had cramping, and a new symptom for a race I had nausea starting at the 14 km mark. People I know who have done chemo have told me it is the worst thing they have ever experienced, they would not wish it on their worst enemy. Jason has shared his journey with cancer on social media. He has completed 11 rounds of chemo. He has two weeks to his next scan, his words after his recent bout “Thanks to everyone for helping me stay strong through this.” Jason has been an inspiration throughout his journey, and I can`t help but think of how in the future his attitude of positivity, and not giving up will help others in their struggles with cancer. But I refuse to stop there as I`m a stubborn and selfish person who realizes that the world is short of caring, amazing people and I want to have Jason around many years and not just be a feel-good story. Every training run for this marathon I have dedicated to Jason. I have uttered a short prayer every run “Lord heal Jason.” Jason was always into the horror movies; he would wear a mask to work every Halloween. Early on in his cancer process I thought of how the main character in these movies always come back no matter what. Facts I looked up about the character Jason from the movie Friday the 13th “Jason is immortal and can never be truly defeated. Jason`s body will regenerate any lost or damaged tissue at an accelerated rate. Laboring across the finish line my work is complete. Race Director Sandie Orlando congratulates me. My last "Lord heal Jason" prayer."
Larry42km
Monday 8 May 2023
Running for a good friend
Saturday 17 December 2022
Still running for freedom!
I have not posted for a while. As years go 2022 seemed uneventful until I started a walk down memory lane of my running.
I ran a full marathon to benefit children in Ukraine March 6. For those who were wondering I did indeed finish my marathon yesterday. Running by yourself in a park in winter had some challenges such as ice covering half the course, somehow having my running hat go missing causing me to run the first loop bare headed and having to create my own hydration stations. These are some positive moments from yesterday: helping the young woman who fell on ice in front of me, having a total stranger tell me "have fun today", going to the first hydration station (my house) in under 70 minutes for 14km a Boston qualifying time and having the beautiful volunteer (Gloria) find me a hat, provide my fluids, pass on messages of hope, and give me a kiss going out the front door. The weather was good for running it was -3, there was no snow, the wind was strong at times 35 km/hr but nothing like the 100km/hr from this afternoon. As with most races as I was finishing, I thought to myself I could have went further, but not faster.
Tuesday 26 October 2021
Running For A Purpose
Wednesday 22 September 2021
"A chord of three strands is not easily broken." I ran 5.2 miles today relatively, easily and surprisingly fast. On October 2 I will have to run this six times. As I ran I looked at my three wrist bands I always wear. The blue one was given to me when I volunteered at a conference educating people about the world of children sold into sex trafficking. Isaiah 1:17 is written on it. "Learn to do good. Seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." The black and green one is from the 5km days. Bring Hope! Ratanak International is written on it. The white one is a gift from a daughter who attended a fundraiser. Elimination Of Violence Against Women is written on it. A month or so ago I was hearing strong opinions for and against whether people should be vaccinated. What saddened me was the same people were silent on the news that the American troops were leaving Afghanistan. History always shows us women and children suffer the most in conflict. I unsuccessfully tried to block images of what I knew would be happening to the most vulnerable in Afghanistan. NEEDTOBREATHE has a song Slumber whose lyrics challenged me as I ran today. "All these victims stand in line for the crumbs that fall from the table. Just enough to get by. All the while your invitation. Wake up from your slumber. Baby, open up your eyes." If I am honest I usually do give crumbs, to ease my conscience. The numbers sometimes seem impressive but they are given out of abundance. In the near future I hope to sacrifice a bit more by being bolder. Today I made a vow which made five important ladies in my life happy. After completing my challenge on October 2 I will shave my COVID beard and cut my hair short. Now I know I cannot fail as Gloria Uroda Dearlove would carry me the whole way just to have this come to fruition.
Sunday 3 December 2017
Silence
I`ve come to talk to you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sounds of silence."
Six years ago I awoke from a dream and wrote down what I saw.
Young Cambodian children dressed in white were coming out of graves holding hands singing the lyrics "We have overcome." For me it meant a great victory had been achieved, the practise of selling young Cambodian children sexually had been abolished.
A man with a lifetime of experience in seeing the victims of child sexual abuse told me in his opinion these children "are the jewels in satan`s crown." My opinion is that there are very few darker places on this earth than the rooms where these children are abused for profit and filmed for an audience.
I am an introvert so I love silence. Silence sometimes can be evil. Children who are abused suffer in silence, their abusers try to maintain this silence. The greatest evil of silence is when people hear about these abuses and look away, refusing to do anything, maintaining the silence.
Darkness is not my friend as the song mentions, but it has been my constant companion for the past ten years. Tomorrow will mark the fifth medical appointment for my family in the last three days, this seems to happen every winter. I run marathons and further, yet none of these medical appointments are ever for me.
Darkness attacks me when my subconscious shuts down and I close my eyes to sleep. I am having vivid nightmares again. When I am fortunate I wake up terrified remembering nothing, the worst comes when I remember and think about the things I have never experienced and yet I am shown evil acts with such clarity.
This writing is not about doom and gloom, but hope, this writing takes place on my wife`s birthday, two days before my own. This writing is reality, and reality is that even amongst celebration and ceremony in our lives, many others are suffering, and this is something we can never forget.
This is to be a year of boldness. As I ran down my ravine last week in preparation for my most aggressive spring running schedule I was encouraged as I had the thought of God moving and setting key figures into play to further His involvement in freeing people caught up in slavery around the world. People I have not met, places I have not been to, yes I truly believe this is to be the year of the Lord`s favour on our little walkathon.
Isiah 61 1-2
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor
He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners
to proclaim the year of the Lord`s favour.
Larry
Monday 25 September 2017
God Has No Teacher
On vacation while in Florida I sat on a porch overlooking a garden and spent a long time watching a Gecko move around.
At first it`s steps seemed random, after a while I could see it had a pattern of movement that was anything but random.
I thought of two of the many examples of what some would call fate or random happenings in my life.
Twelve years ago I joined a new gym near my house. A fellow member and myself hit it off very well, we talked about everything including our work places. His work had profit sharing, flexible work shifts, banking overtime hours, employee performance reviews, and accountability. Three months later I left my secure job of thirteen years taking a temporary pay cut, and joined his company. Two years later my former company closed it`s doors. My present company pays me very well and it`s flexible work schedule has allowed me to help the vulnerable in Cambodia to a better life.
Twenty three years ago two of my closest friends started up a pool company. I helped them out whenever I could. A weekend was planned for a celebration. We were to go to a condominium in Barrie, and than on to a weekend at Wasaga Beach. The weather was terrible so on Saturday we headed back home. That night we attended a dance where I met my wife of twenty years and my best friend met his wife of eighteen years.
Looking out the window of a plane I watched how the wing would move and change its position according to what was required of it. I remembered seeing a movie of the first flyers and how they would study birds and chart their movements hoping to perfect the flying machines. I saw many birds in Florida, one day I watched three Hawks gliding, instinctively they knew how to catch the wind and stay airborne for a long time without even using their wings.
I love the ocean! I heal spiritually and physically in the
ocean. In Canada epsom salt baths bring healing to my body when I push it too hard. This cannot begin to compare to the salt in the ocean. Two days of relaxing and swimming took away all my tension and pain. The ocean stays clean because of its natural filtration system of constant movement. Men have applied this same system on swimming pools. When stagnant a pool looks like this.
It is not popular to believe in a Creator. Watching Hawks soar, Oceans roar, Geckos wander and thinking of the "coincidences" in my life reinforce my belief.
Jim Morrison of The Doors had a saying "no one gets out of here alive."
The Earth is a dangerous, fallen place.
This sign is posted as a warning at a pond I ran past. A young boy was drowned by an alligator in a similar pond the previous summer. In Fort Lauderale my family arrived at the same airport where a lone gunman killed five people the previous year.
On June 12 2016 at the 5kmWalkathon I mentioned this day in history and shared many examples of good and evil from the past. We celebrated all the good that would come from our walkathon, later on that night forty nine people were shot dead in an Orlando night club.
Two weeks after my vacation Hurricane Irma devastated a large part of Florida, including places my family had been to.
A prophetess spoke once at my Church about the time she felt the Lord asked her what she wanted as a reward for her very hard life. She asked for a small stream in Heaven, she was shown her wish would be granted.
My wish for Heaven is a beach on an ocean. On it my family will meet many Cambodian girls that have been helped by our work on Earth.
Larry
Saturday 5 August 2017
The Death Of Music Red Flag
American Pie was written in 1971 by Don McLean. I heard it twice on the radio in less than a week. As I listened to the lyrics I was amazed at the imagery. Forty six years later people are still debating the meaning of this song. A popular Christian writer lamented on the loss of creativity amongst Christian artists and writers. This lament could be spread to the mainstream as I fear very little of what I see, hear, or read will inspire, or challenge people generations later.
I believe hearing and enjoying music is given to us as a gift from God at birth. In the song American Pie time and time again the words are sang "This`ll be the day that I die."
Dying to music can come to people in many forms. Abuse, neglect, bullying, shaming, ridiculing etc can chip away at the music until one day, we hear music no more, feel joy no more. Sadly many people around us are walking around life in this state.
Many years ago some of the music went out of my life: hearing about young girls the same age as my daughters being sold into sexual slavery brought me into a world I never knew existed. Time and knowledge have only increased this sadness. I realize now how widespread of a problem this is. I am grateful to have only read and never had to have watched the abuse of a child.
Oh, and as I watched him on that stage
My fists were clenched in fits of rage
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died
A friend from work went to school with a band from Mississauga named Billy Talent.
Red Flag
Cast off the crutch that kills the pain
The red flag waving never mean`t the same
The kids of tomorrow don`t need today
When they live in the sins of yesterday
How often do we try to ignore or numb pain? Another friend from work told me about his estranged wife keeping his daughter`s from him, even throwing out his letters, gifts, communications etc. My friend would buy a small amount of alcohol each day that allowed him to numb his pain and sleep.
One year at Missionfest I was at a booth handing out flyers with information about forced child trafficking in Cambodia and practical ways to do something about it. A lady burst into tears as she approached our booth, and walked away. A few minutes later I saw her laughing and collecting information at another booth with a different ministry. Later in the same day a friend approached this woman and asked her about her earlier reaction, the woman`s response was "All I could think of was my grand daughters being in that situation and that is too painful."
I do not know what ever became of this woman but speaking from experience it is my belief that when you are moved to tears this is probably the area of ministry that God has intended for you.
Looking up the meaning of a red flag had many differing opinions. The one I liked most was that unlike a white flag which is used to surrender, a red flag was carried for war.
Sometimes heading directly into pain while seemingly illogical is exactly what we are called to do.
I learned this lesson the hard way. One day I was sparring with my martial arts instructor and things were not going very well for me, I was getting hit often and could not muster any offence of my own. My instructor stopped the session and showed me what was going on. He hit me and what did I do? I stepped back, he hit me again, I stepped back again. He stopped me and explained that each time I backed away from him, he only had to step forward to mount an offence, he also showed me that by backing up I could not generate any power of my own to counter him. My instructor showed me stepping to the side (slipping) was a good move, but the best way to stop his offence was to step right into him, throw my own punches, and force him to back up.
Many people I know that are involved with ministries have suffered abuse and yet God has placed them in areas that deal with a lot of issues that would make sense to avoid.
Running away from pain is a logical wordly reaction, but it is not always the right one.
The kids of tomorrow don`t need today
When they live in the sins of yesterday
I heard the term "sins of the Father" many times growing up in my Church. It was always used to explain some sin a person had committed, whom had a parent with an obvious sin in their life. I never thought much about this, and after time I almost accepted it. Reading my Bible showed me the many times that God saved David`s line as King of Israel because of God`s love for him despite David`s many sins. I think of John 9 vs 2 Jesus healing the blind man and the disciples asking "Rabbi who sinned this man or his parents that he was born blind? Jesus replied "Neither, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." I think of Ezekiel 18 vs 20 "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father."
As a father who is less than perfect and was far less than perfect in my younger days, I take comfort in these verses as I think of my children.
The child growing up in Cambodia marked with the legacy of "The Killing Fields" as their past looks forward to a future filled with a God who judges them on their own merit.
I am running very regular this Summer, today I crossed paths with one of these in my ravine.
It was a baby milk snake and thankfully it has was not like the full grown one I encountered a few years ago.
My long range plans are in place in my head, the next few months will allow me to put them into practice. I am to run a full marathon next May, keeping with my previously stated agreement I will not be running to the destination of my next marathon. BUT, I have worked out a compromise and will hopefully run my longest distance ever in a day in the week of next June before next years 5kmWalkathon. I hope to bring awareness to our cause, while sharing, blending and honouring my work place and their cause as they have allowed me the freedom to try to make the world a little better.
I believe in helping others we are able to bring music back to individuals who have had the music stolen from their lives. I also believe earth is so fallen that even our brightest, purest, most selfless experiences of music can only pale in comparison to what one day awaits.
Larry