Silence

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I`ve come to talk to you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sounds of silence."

This song was played during a scene as I watched one of my favourite shows. A wise pastor once told me God`s wisdom is revealed in unlikely places, by unlikely people. Simon and Garfunkel sang this song many years ago, the version I heard was by a Heavy Metal Band named Disturbed.

Six years ago I awoke from a dream and wrote down what I saw.
Young Cambodian children dressed in white were coming out of graves holding hands singing the lyrics "We have overcome." For me it meant a great victory had been achieved, the practise of selling young Cambodian children sexually had been abolished.

A man with a lifetime of experience in seeing the victims of child sexual abuse told me in his opinion these children "are the jewels in satan`s crown." My opinion is that there are very few darker places on this earth than the rooms where these children are abused for profit and filmed for an audience.

I am an introvert so I love silence. Silence sometimes can be evil. Children who are abused suffer in silence, their abusers try to maintain this silence. The greatest evil of silence is when people hear about these abuses and look away, refusing to do anything, maintaining the silence.

Darkness is not my friend as the song mentions, but it has been my constant companion for the past ten years. Tomorrow will mark the fifth medical appointment for my family in the last three days, this seems to happen every winter. I run marathons and further, yet none of these medical appointments are ever for me.

Darkness attacks me when my subconscious shuts down and I close my eyes to sleep. I am having vivid nightmares again. When I am fortunate I wake up terrified remembering nothing, the worst comes when I remember and think about the things I have never experienced and yet I am shown evil acts with such clarity.

This writing is not about doom and gloom, but hope, this writing takes place on my wife`s birthday, two days before my own. This writing is reality, and reality is that even amongst celebration and ceremony in our lives, many others are suffering, and this is something we can never forget. 

This is to be a year of boldness. As I ran down my ravine last week in preparation for my most aggressive spring running schedule I was encouraged as I had the thought of God moving and setting key figures into play to further His involvement in freeing people caught up in slavery around the world. People I have not met, places I have not been to, yes I truly believe this is to be the year of the Lord`s favour on our little walkathon.

Isiah 61 1-2
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
   because the Lord has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor
He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners
    to proclaim the year of the Lord`s favour.

Larry

God Has No Teacher

While waiting in my car to go into a meeting that would include a documentary showing survivors of human trafficking I watched a few small birds picking up food from the ground. I saw they were free and thought of every animal in the world and came to the sad realisation that only human beings have enough evil inside of themselves to put chains on and enslave their own.
On vacation while in Florida I sat on a porch overlooking a garden and spent a long time watching a Gecko move around.

At first it`s steps seemed random, after a while I could see it had a pattern of movement that was anything but random.
I thought of two of the many examples of what some would call fate or random happenings in my life.
Twelve years ago I joined a new gym near my house. A fellow member and myself hit it off very well, we talked about everything including our work places. His work had profit sharing, flexible work shifts, banking overtime hours, employee performance reviews, and accountability. Three months later I left my secure job of thirteen years taking a temporary pay cut, and joined his company. Two years later my former company closed it`s doors. My present company pays me very well and it`s flexible work schedule has allowed me to help the vulnerable in Cambodia to a better life.

Twenty three years ago two of my closest friends started up a pool company. I helped them out whenever I could. A weekend was planned for a celebration. We were to go to a condominium in Barrie, and than on to a weekend at Wasaga Beach. The weather was terrible so on Saturday we headed back home. That night we attended a dance where I met my wife of twenty years and my best friend met his wife of eighteen years.

Looking out the window of a plane I watched how the wing would move and change its position according to what was required of it. I remembered seeing a movie of the first flyers and how they would study birds and chart their movements hoping to perfect the flying machines. I saw many birds in Florida, one day I watched three Hawks gliding, instinctively they knew how to catch the wind and stay airborne for a long time without even using their wings.

I love the ocean! I heal spiritually and physically in the 
ocean. In Canada epsom salt baths bring healing to my body when I push it too hard. This cannot begin to compare to the salt in the ocean. Two days of relaxing and swimming took away all my tension and pain. The ocean stays clean because of its natural filtration system of constant movement. Men have applied this same system on swimming pools. When stagnant a pool looks like this.

It is not popular to believe in a Creator. Watching Hawks soar, Oceans roar, Geckos wander and thinking of the "coincidences" in my life reinforce my belief.

Jim Morrison of The Doors had a saying "no one gets out of here alive."
The Earth is a dangerous, fallen place.

This sign is posted as a warning at a pond I ran past. A young boy was drowned by an alligator in a similar pond the previous summer. In Fort Lauderale my family arrived at the same airport where a lone gunman killed five people the previous year.
On June 12 2016 at the 5kmWalkathon I mentioned this day in history and shared many examples of good and evil from the past. We celebrated all the good that would come from our walkathon, later on that night forty nine people were shot dead in an Orlando night club. 
Two weeks after my vacation Hurricane Irma devastated a large part of Florida, including places my family had been to.

A prophetess spoke once at my Church about the time she felt the Lord asked her what she wanted as a reward for her very hard life. She asked for a small stream in Heaven, she was shown her wish would be granted. 

My wish for Heaven is a beach on an ocean. On it my family will meet many Cambodian girls that have been helped by our work on Earth.

Larry

The Death Of Music Red Flag

Lyrics from two songs of two different eras, by two vastly different types of music inspired this writing. 
American Pie was written in 1971 by Don McLean. I heard it twice on the radio in less than a week. As I listened to the lyrics I was amazed at the imagery. Forty six years later people are still debating the meaning of this song. A popular Christian writer lamented on the loss of creativity amongst Christian artists and writers. This lament could be spread to the mainstream as I fear very little of what I see, hear, or read will inspire, or challenge people generations later.

I believe hearing and enjoying music is given to us as a gift from God at birth. In the song American Pie time and time again the words are sang "This`ll be the day that I die." 
Dying to music can come to people in many forms. Abuse, neglect, bullying, shaming, ridiculing etc can chip away at the music until one day, we hear music no more, feel joy no more. Sadly many people around us are walking around life in this state.
Many years ago some of the music went out of my life: hearing about young girls the same age as my daughters being sold into sexual slavery brought me into a world I never knew existed. Time and knowledge have only increased this sadness. I realize now how widespread of a problem this is. I am grateful to have only read and never had to have watched the abuse of a child.

Oh, and as I watched him on that stage
My fists were clenched in fits of rage
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

A friend from work went to school with a band from Mississauga named Billy Talent. 

Red Flag
Cast off the crutch that kills the pain
The red flag waving never mean`t the same
The kids of tomorrow don`t need today
When they live in the sins of yesterday

How often do we try to ignore or numb pain? Another friend from work told me about his estranged wife keeping his daughter`s from him, even throwing out his letters, gifts, communications etc. My friend would buy a small amount of alcohol each day that allowed him to numb his pain and sleep.
One year at Missionfest I was at a booth handing out flyers with information about forced child trafficking in Cambodia and practical ways to do something about it. A lady burst into tears as she approached our booth, and walked away. A few minutes later I saw her laughing and collecting information at another booth with a different ministry. Later in the same day a friend approached this woman and asked her about her earlier reaction, the woman`s response was "All I could think of was my grand daughters being in that situation and that is too painful."
I do not know what ever became of this woman but speaking from experience it is my belief that when you are moved to tears this is probably the area of ministry that God has intended for you.

Looking up the meaning of a red flag had many differing opinions. The one I liked most was that unlike a white flag which is used to surrender, a red flag was carried for war.
Sometimes heading directly into pain while seemingly illogical is exactly what we are called to do.
I learned this lesson the hard way. One day I was sparring with my martial arts instructor and things were not going very well for me, I was getting hit often and could not muster any offence of my own. My instructor stopped the session and showed me what was going on. He hit me and what did I do? I stepped back, he hit me again, I stepped back again. He stopped me and explained that each time I backed away from him, he only had to step forward to mount an offence, he also showed me that by backing up I could not generate any power of my own to counter him. My instructor showed me stepping to the side (slipping) was a good move, but the best way to stop his offence was to step right into him, throw my own punches, and force him to back up.
Many people I know that are involved with ministries have suffered abuse and yet God has placed them in areas that deal with a lot of issues that would make sense to avoid.
Running away from pain is a logical wordly reaction, but it is not always the right one. 

The kids of tomorrow don`t need today
When they live in the sins of yesterday

I heard the term "sins of the Father" many times growing up in my Church. It was always used to explain some sin a person had committed, whom had a parent with an obvious sin in their life. I never thought much about this, and after time I almost accepted it. Reading my Bible showed me the many times that God saved David`s line as King of Israel because of God`s love for him despite David`s many sins. I think of John 9 vs 2 Jesus healing the blind man and the disciples asking "Rabbi who sinned this man or his parents that he was born blind? Jesus replied "Neither, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." I think of Ezekiel 18 vs 20 "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father."
As a father who is less than perfect and was far less than perfect in my younger days, I take comfort in these verses as I think of my children.
The child growing up in Cambodia marked with the legacy of "The Killing Fields" as their past looks forward to a future filled with a God who judges them on their own merit.

I am running very regular this Summer, today I crossed paths with one of these in my ravine.

It was a baby milk snake and thankfully it has was not like the full grown one I encountered a few years ago.

My long range plans are in place in my head, the next few months will allow me to put them into practice. I am to run a full marathon next May, keeping with my previously stated agreement I will not be running to the destination of my next marathon. BUT, I have worked out a compromise and will hopefully run my longest distance ever in a day in the week of next June before next years 5kmWalkathon. I hope to bring awareness to our cause, while sharing, blending and honouring my work place and their cause as they have allowed me the freedom to try to make the world a little better.

I believe in helping others we are able to bring music back to individuals who have had the music stolen from their lives. I also believe earth is so fallen that even our brightest, purest, most selfless experiences of music can only pale in comparison to what one day awaits.

Larry 

Chlorine Spill 97 km Journey Bringing Healing

Last week driving home from a pool company a bottle of chlorine spilled in the trunk of my car, only about one cup leaked out, yet it has been a challenging problem to get rid of the odor. After trying a few "quick fix" solutions that made the problem worse I have found that by opening the windows and airing my car out in the garage every night is the best way to gradually naturally freshen my car. 
I started this blog a few years ago to write out my deepest thoughts revealed to me when running down my ravine. I started writing as a way to cope with the reality of the ugliness of human trafficking, and my unlikely role of combating it. I have taken six months off my writing, and wondered if I would ever post again. The funny thing is that this blog is being read more than ever, by parts of the world I do not even know and will soon have over 10 000 views.

The French Emperor Napoleon was defeated in Waterloo.
This year I had a goal to run/walk the 97 km or 59 miles from my house in Mississauga to the starting point of The Waterloo Marathon, three days later I was to run the full 42.2 km or 26.2 mile Marathon.
I am not a risk taker! A banker once told me I was one of the most conservative investors he had came across.
I guess in some ways I am not taking a risk as I believe God is orchestrating these events that I seem to "randomly" enter.
Trusting in God is not a risk.
The trip to Waterloo was the biggest physical challenge of my life. At work a friend asked me "how do you train for 97km ?" I told him "there is no training for that distance." As soon as I said it I realised how ridiculous my answer seemed, but it was the truth. To train for a 42.2 km race, along with other shorter runs I run one very long run a week. I start at 15 km and by the end of training I have actually ran further than a marathon. Working full time, being a husband, and Father did not allow me to transfer this type of training for my trip to Waterloo.

The day of travelling to Waterloo itself was amazing. I had wanted to run further before walking but the weight of my backpack was actually choking me. While walking up the side of the road I thought of the weight of my backpack in terms of any child who has suffered sexual abuse. I thought of how this individual must carry this weight all the time, every day of their lives, their loads instead of getting lighter as mine did, would become heavier due to the unfairness of life. What an incredible privilege I have been given to help lighten those less fortunate than myself loads, through my unlikely career in running.  

I came across this baby turtle who was trying to cross Highway 7, I picked him up and carried him safely to a stream a long distance from the road.

Many times the song by Rend Collective came to me:
The Joy Of The Lord Is My Strength

The joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord is my strength
In the darkness I`ll dance
In the shadows I`ll sing
The joy of the Lord is my strength

I laughed aloud as I shuffled past Speed River in Guelph which is the training facility for some of Canada`s elite marathon runners, picturing my current stride with theirs.
I ran out of water and went to Rocky`s Hot Dog Restaurant in Guelph to purchase some, when the young man heard of what I was doing for my cause Ratanak International and their work with victims of trafficking in Cambodia he filled my back pack up with water free of charge. Having a headache I purchased advil from a Drug store who would not let me use their restroom and directed me to a mall that had a public restroom. When I came out of the restroom I saw a 140 lb security guard looking at me nervously. I realised he thought I was homeless and thought he may have to deal with me. Pride was still part of me for I laughed to myself and thought  "even in my weakened state it would take a lot more than you."
I finished this long journey at 9.30 pm. Another laugh was my oldest daughter thinking the ambulance was waiting for me. It was in a way, as St John`s was the main benefactor of the marathon, but my daughter was thinking more along the lines of her dad collapsing into the ambulance, than of St John`s being there for a publicity shot.

I have mentioned before sometimes I believe our minds fail us before our bodies. I know I could have went further that day, how far I do not know? That is a question that may never be answered for while bandaging up four blisters and trying to stop the blood flowing from my foot onto the kitchen floor my wife told me next year she does not want me to run a long distance to a City before running the actual marathon, she "wants me to run fast in what will be my last marathon."   I will honor her request for running a marathon is a risk and she has supported me for all nine previous.

The day of the Waterloo marathon was freezing! Ron Beer showed up and filmed the whole race, here are a couple of pictures.

At a Toronto Core Group meeting we set the goal for the upcoming walkathon I suggested the number $15 052, a very aggressive number. Other members mentioned $20 052. Jessika Mak set the goal at $20 252. A number I did not see how we could achieve.


The day of the walk as I am trying to organize my responsibilities, these two show up at 8.00 am, one hour before the walk. Peter and Chris Fonseca, both politicians in Mississauga, along with their two sons.

The day itself is always so amazing! Jessika spoke of meeting two young ladies who have benefited from the work of Ratanak International and how they even knew of our event. I mentioned how our family cat Lucy likes wandering around in our backyard. Lucy is a hunter, she is looking for something she can prey upon, something that is weaker than her, something she can devour. As many as twenty birds of all different sizes and types have started chirping very loudly every time Lucy comes into the backyard, they even take turns flying near her. Lucy gets discouraged and leaves the backyard. I see our walkathon in comparison to the birds, we are small, and no match for the giant that is human trafficking. On the surface we seemingly can do very little. By banding together and picking one area of the world Cambodia, and one organization Ratanak International we can and have made an impact. The birds of my backyard can not save every bird on my street from Lucy or other cats but they have prevented Lucy from catching any birds in my backyard. Collectively there is more strength than acting individually.

As with my chlorine spill in my car there is no "quick fix" for victims of sexual abuse. There are many years of healing through therapy, prayer, training, counselling. There is a cost attached to this. The total of $23 352 was raised at the 5kmWalkathon well past the goal. The money will be sent to Cambodia to help victims of trafficking get the help they need to heal. 

Larry